THE SECRET OF MOTIVATION — is the pain the ultimate motivator?
What is the secret of getting motivated to act and achieve what you want? Many movies and articles that motivate for action features expensive cars, wealth, successes and a cool life. Obviously, it is needed, because you need to believe in your dreams, have a vision and set goals. However, why is it that many people, despite encountering numerous opportunities every day, often fail to take action in their lives? After all, everyone desires to have their own company, a nice car, the ability to travel, and attain wealth.
This blog post answers the following questions:
- What is the ultimate motivator?
- How does pleasure versus pain influence our motivation?
- Why do many people fail to take action in their lives despite encountering numerous opportunities?
- What role does discomfort and challenging situations play in motivating oneself to act and change?
- What are the consequences of not taking action and remaining in one’s comfort zone?
Why are so many people stuck in their world and don’t dare to venture out a little and pursue their own dreams, goals and plans? I’m not talking about some very difficult dreams to achieve, but rather maybe moving forward, taking action, maybe starting your own business, changing your life for the better in terms of even health and lifestyle? Does motivation in the form of all these wonderful things really work so well for us?
The secret of motivation — do you get motivated by pleasure or pain?
We are beings who are motivated, on the one hand, by pleasure and, on the other hand, by pain. We strive for pleasure, and we want to avoid pain at all costs. It’s obvious but think about it for a moment. Does having a good job, an apartment, and easy access to various forms of entertainment such as the Internet and television stimulate your motivation to work and take action?
We often fulfill our basic needs, including pursuing pleasures. Do we then want to work hard to improve our standard of living? Not exactly as it turns out. If you are in a relatively comfortable environment, then the desire to grow and to fight for a better life will not be too strong. Even if you are motivated by extraordinary things and rewards such as a luxurious lifestyle, unfortunately, your motivation can diminish rapidly when your life remains comfortable and content. While it may be occasionally boring and monotonous, at least you have enough to eat and occasionally go on vacations. After all, it’s pretty good and why risk it?
Pain motivates better?
Imagine for a moment that you experience intense hunger and have gone without food the entire day. Your motivation to get a meal will be so strong that nothing can stop you from achieving your goal of getting dinner. Maybe you are in a situation where you have a family to feed, a loan to pay off — what then will be your motivation to work? Are you going to mess around and be picky about job offers? I don’t think so. You’ll probably work hard to make it. This is the secret of getting motivated to act.
Think you’re having a baby, and now you’re responsible for it. You have to stay up all night and work hard to support it, because you can no longer afford to be a slacker. Don’t misunderstand me — life is not easy and requires a lot from us every time, especially when we grow up. However, only difficult situations motivate to do our best.
How do you motivate yourself to act and change?
Personally, I found that immersing myself in challenging situations and being motivated by the absence of an escape route yielded the best results. During my twenties, I completed college, established my own business as a wedding cameraman, edited footage, shot commercials, and so on. I lived with my parents all the time and was doing quite well, but I completely lacked hunger and felt no need to push forward.
Today, I understand that this was due to the comfortable position I was in — I didn’t have to do much. We were somehow not very rich, but I had my comfortable room, had no obligations and nothing really motivated me to work hard and to change. If worries and fears arose, I immediately had an excuse and gave up the action. It was very hard for me to step our of my comfort zones and I didn’t do it because I didn’t have to.
An increasing pain and motivation to change is the secret of motivation
After a few years spent like this in my life it was getting worse and worse. I sold the company and was left with a stockpile of cash, which made me even more unwilling to do much. The next things didn’t work out for me, and I got deeper and deeper into it. More aspects of my life were deteriorating, and I felt worse and worse about myself. After another job and a breakdown, I ended up with a psychologist in my hometown. It was 2012, and I was a wreck of a man who didn’t want anything anymore. I reached the bottom, and it was very bad for me. The pain was so strong that I had to do something because otherwise it could have ended badly. And encouraged by motivational readings, such as Instant Millionaire, I set my goals for the first time in my life and wrote them down.
What else motivated me to change?
When I was younger, I lacked self-confidence. I always wanted to be better and stronger, but I never knew how to do it. I participated in situations where I had to face many problems, but I didn’t have the courage to do anything about them. I remember sitting in a bar with my girlfriend back then. I was 20 at the time. A guy who was toasting his promotion at the company joined us at the bar and started buying us drinks and hitting on my girlfriend. I remember that he spoiled my whole evening, and I couldn’t even suggest him to find another place. I was so scared and afraid to act, I let a stranger to control my life. I didn’t fight for what was mine and there was no confidence in me. I was very ashamed, I felt terrible in my skin, but then I couldn’t do anything about it. There have been so many such unpleasant situations in my life.
I decided to move to Krakow and throw myself into the deep end. There was no turning back, because the rented apartment had to be paid, I had to eat something, and I could no longer give up work one week after starting it. Suffering motivated me to move out, suffering motivated me to work every day at a second-hand clothing wholesaler where physical work took away all my strength. When I was laid off after a few months, I could not afford to despair and I had to act, to keep looking. Then, I became a driver in a restaurant, and then a waiter. Then, I started publishing books on Amazon and I got promoted again, becoming the manager of that restaurant. I became the manager of the restaurant where I was starting my career as a driver. I had to endure, and I managed. It paid off. Without the hunger and motivation within me caused by the pain, then I certainly wouldn’t have made it.
What awaits you if you don’t act?
Years pass, and if you don’t start changing your life, you will face a lot of unpleasantness. You may be reasonably comfortable now, but do you want to be stuck in this situation for the next 10 years? But maybe you want something more? Think of what awaits you if you don’t take any action right now. You’re probably still a pretty young person, and you can change a lot. Let the prospect of pain of not improving your life motivate you to take action. What happens if you don’t cross your comfort zone? Everything you dream of is just outside your comfort zone.
To have what you don’t have you must do what you don’t do!
Put yourself in situations that are uncomfortable and difficult for you. Imagine that if you don’t do it, your life will pass and you will be a regretful elderly person, regretting what they didn’t do. Now, that’s the motivation! Let you be motivated by the image of that person who will someday regret those undone actions and plans. If you don’t risk a change in your life, if you don’t maybe approach that person you like, if you don’t try a business that turns you on, or if you don’t do what you’ve always dreamed of doing, the pain will grow over time as in my case.
I used to be very afraid to act and try to achieve what I dreamed of. It wasn’t until I threw myself into the deep water and was motivated by pain that I forced myself to work, change, be systematic and make mistakes. However, all of this has turned me from a troubled boy into a much stronger and more mature person. When I look back at myself from 5 years ago, I don’t recognize that person. It was someone else. My life changed so dramatically. It hasn’t been easy along the way, and there are probably still many challenges ahead of me.
What is the conclusion for you?
Imagine the consequences of your lack of action and:
- Take your chances and do it!
- Maybe move out to a new place
- Open your own business
- Change your job or start a business in addition to your job to be free someday
- Take a risk and approach someone who turns you on or maybe end a relationship that doesn’t suit you
- Do bungee-jumping if you want
- Get out of your comfort zone and experience pain
- Act and fail
Don’t sit on your ass because you’re probably comfortable right now, and your mind will always find an excuse not to do something. If you are having a hard time and can’t motivate yourself then put yourself in a situation where you need to act. Pain will motivate you much better than the vision of expensive cars and big money. Go further only after you have overcome the first difficulties and achieved your first successes. This is the secret of motivation.
The Secret of Motivation – Unraveling the Power of Pain as the Ultimate Motivator — watch the video
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Hi, I’m Tomek.
From Waiter To Millionaire. Welcome.
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Today I’ll talk about
the secret of motivation.
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What motivates us more – pleasure or pain?
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I invite you to watch this video.
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Before we begin,
let me show you my city, Kraków.
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It’s 6 a.m. We’re by the Vistula River.
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A beautiful morning, which motivates.
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But that’s not our topic.
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To begin with,
we see a lot of motivators
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on the Internet, in books
that motivate us with expensive cars,
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great life, money, great success.
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Many of us are motivated
by these valuable things,
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because many people
talk about them
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and it’s something
that motivates to begin taking action.
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But if we talk about
such things as money, cars
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and great motivators,
pleasures that motivate us
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to take actions, to be successful,
then why many people,
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who have these things that give us
countless possibilities, give up?
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We quickly stop taking actions
and despite having such motivators
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like these things and a wonderful life,
we give up.
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Most people stop taking actions,
because they lose motivation.
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So, the question is whether
it really is a good motivator?
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Are such luxuries,
pleasures a good motivators
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to achieve something in your life?
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Many people would wonder what it is.
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I’ll ask you a question – are you
better motivated by pleasure
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from having such great things
or by pain?
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Such as suffering,
something uncomfortable.
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Many of us have comfort in our lives,
because we have a job,
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make money, have a roof over our heads
and can afford our needs.
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We go to the cinema, on a walk,
a trip, a vacation once a year
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and we want to achieve
something great,
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but we already live fine and comfortable.
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Everyone has different,
but even if we live with parents
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or have a job, as in Poland
there’s no problem with finding it,
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we live comfortably
and what can we achieve?
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I will illustrate it
basing on my own story.
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10 years ago,
when I was 20-something,
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I graduated from college,
I was starting my company.
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I filmed weddings,
made commercials and edited materials.
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I took grants and I did well.
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I was living with parents,
had OK earnings and lots of free time.
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I drove to different places,
filmed, created and it was fine.
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It was comfortable,
I didn’t have any commitments.
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I didn’t have any hunger then,
because I had what I wanted,
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I didn’t have to make any special effort
and I wasn’t moving forward.
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Over time, I began to lose motivation
to create my company,
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move forward
or get out of the comfort zone
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and it was only worse over time.
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I didn’t want to create my company,
I was letting go
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and losing motivation.
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In time, I sold the company,
the equipment, I had cash,
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so I was in an even more
comfortable position.
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The company was sold,
I unsuccessfuly tried to take jobs,
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but I still had comfort, cash,
lived with parents
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and it was getting worse.
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I had no motivation
to pull myself together,
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I was failing and 10 years ago
I was such low
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that I didn’t know what to do.
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And I had no obligations to do a lot.
I ended up with psychologist.
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I didn’t know what to do with myself.
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My long-time relationship
was falling apart. It was bad.
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Only when I forced myself to do something
and read first motivational book,
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I’ve decided to move to Kraków
and write down my goals.
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I wanted to find a job,
pull myself together and rent a flat.
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I cut my way back to previous life.
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I put myself in an uncomfortable position.
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Sorry, I forgot my selfie stick.
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I was in an rough position,
as I had to earn money
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for rent, living and comforts.
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I couldn’t give up.
I was doing something I didn’t want.
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I was in a position
in which I had to earn for rent,
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food and take care of everything.
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Maybe you’re now
in a comfortable situation
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in which you have a job, apartment etc.
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I chose not to be
in this situation
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and had to fight with
my adversities, like work, for years.
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Firstly, I worked in
secondhand clothing warehouse.
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It was hard, but I couldn’t give up.
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Next, I worked
as a driver for a restaurant.
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It was a pleasant job,
but I wouldn’t normally take it.
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Then, I became a waiter
at this restaurant.
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Years later, I became it’s manager.
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The conclusion
that comes from all of this
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is that if I hadn’t
put myself in a painful situation
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and I hadn’t cut my way back,
then I wouldn’t have achieved this.
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I would have never motivated myself
to act, push my life forward,
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and get out of comfort zones.
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When I lived with parents,
having my own company,
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I refused to do difficult things.
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I was finding excuses that I don’t have to
do it and it was true.
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And then I started doing them,
as it was a necessity.
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Let me tell you a bit more about my youth.
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When it comes to pain
as a motivator to change,
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I was a very insecure person.
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Often I wanted to do something
and I couldn’t,
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as I didn’t have to.
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I very badly wanted to change my life
when it comes to self-confidence.
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I remember when I was sitting
in a bar with a girl,
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when some stranger sit with us
and ruined my evening.
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He was buying drinks, hit on my girl
and I was unable to do anything.
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Why do I bring this up?
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Because this pain motivated me
to seek change.
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I didn’t know how yet, but this pain
that I couldn’t deal with such situations
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in relationships, life or at work
has always motivated me
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to make some change.
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Not all these pleasures,
which are cool and also motivate,
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but it was pain that motivated me
to move forward and pull myself together.
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Now, let’s assume
that you are 20-30 years old,
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you live comfortably,
have a job, go on a holiday once a year
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and you’re in a comfortable position.
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Let’s imagine you have some dreams
and you won’t do anything for 10-20 years.
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Then, you suddenly wake up
in your 50s or later
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and it’s already too late.
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You won’t change anything.
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However, only if you put
yourself in an uncomfortable position now,
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you’ll force yourself to act
or you’ll simply imagine that
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in 30 years you’ll be an older person
who had plans today
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and did nothing about them.
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Imagine the pain
that this person is feeling.
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The pain of inaction,
having wasted your chance.
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Maybe it’ll motivate you.
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Or motivate yourself
by moving out of home,
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exposing to the difficulties of life,
where you don’t know anybody
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and having to take care of yourself.
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Maybe get a new job or a relationship,
which will be scary for you,
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but it’ll motivate you by cancelling
the possibility to return.
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You won’t be able to go back
and you’ll have to act.
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You won’t have a choice.
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This pain will motivate you
not to give up
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and resign because you live in comfort.
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Remember that the convenient life
that we already have
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is a bit unfortunate to us.
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Whether your current state is,
try to put yourself in a situation
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in which you’ll feel uncomfortable
and be motivated to act.
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Maybe this will be the cure
for your lack of motivation.
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Imagine being older and having wasted
your dreams and plans
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or maybe put yourself in a situation
in which life pushes you to act.
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Imagine that you have a wife,
a husband, a child or a credit.
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Will you be motivated to work?
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Yes, you have a specific motivation.
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For this reason,
change something in your life
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act, don’t be afraid
and try to motivate yourself,
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maybe with pain and not necessarily
some great things,
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but with something like this.
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Greetings from Kraków.
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You can see Kazimierz. I’ll go there.
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There is Wawel in the distance.
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Greetings. See you next time.
Contents
- 1 THE SECRET OF MOTIVATION — is the pain the ultimate motivator?